Tuesday, August 26, 2008

My Name Is Skippy Dammit

Look at this handsome chap posing for his prehistoric mugshot. Sure he has no neck, but have you seen some of those humans playing in the NFL? Magnificent individual, don't you think?

This my friends, is Neanderthal Man. You can call him Skippy, that's what I call him. I read an article today that says scientists have determined that Skippy and his friends weren't dumb, just different. I think it's about damn time that someone finally stepped up and started defending his good name. I have always thought that Neanderthals got a bad rap. You hear people use his name in a derogatory manner all the time. What did Skippy ever do to anyone to deserve this sort of slander? Now scientists have determined that the Skippy clan actually had tools that were every bit as good as Homo-sapiens, perhaps even "more efficient." You can read the article here.

I think it's nice that researchers are able to do this for Skip and his chums. I find it interesting that they spent three whole years re-creating the tools that Skip and Homo used and then compared them against each other. I wonder how long it actually took Skippy to create them. Accounting of course for the whole evolutionary process, I mean, that in and of it's self was a chore. I bet it didn't take him three years to come up with the notion that a sharp rock could cut things. Skippy was probably just shuffling around, hunched over and bare footed, then he stepped on a sharp piece of flint that cut his toe clean off. Despite his trauma he probably thought "Damn, if this rock can cut my toe clean off, I bet I could use it to kill me some 'Macha' (Neanderthal word for Monster) for dinner!

They have decided that the Skipster may have even had a "rudimentary language." You bet your sweet bippy he did. (see Macha) Granted there is no way to prove this, but you have to figure that they could communicate. Although looking at his picture I don't know that Skip was a man of many words. He appears to have an expressive face. His portrait relays a message of unhappiness about something. He's probably like me and doesn't like getting his picture taken, that's what he is communicating to me. Who knows for sure, but I would bet he's a riot at a Neanderthal party.

So raise a glass to Skip and celebrate his existence. Here's to hopes, that science will continue to show the world that we should celebrate not defame, Neanderthal Man!

1 comment:

Boyd said...

I wonder if Skippy, Cro-Magnon man, and Sasquatch ever got together and held the Caveman Olympics. Probably not. Even they were smart enough to know the Olympics are gay.