Thursday, November 13, 2008

Thank You

The Northern Hemisphere is firmly entrenched in Autumn. The mountains have begun to don their snow caps, the leaves have turned colors and begun to fall from the outstretched branches on which they had been perched for the previous months. The eleventh month has arrived and it has been designated a time of reflection on the last year. We are given the opportunity to express our gratitude for those things that have enhanced and made our lives worthwhile. A season of graciousness and giving is now upon us and in honor of this, I think I will compile a list of things that I am thankful for, again, in no particular order. Now I don't want y'all taking exception that I am not listing the traditional things such as family, friends, job, etc. Those things are a constant just as the sun will always rise in the East. I want to give thanks for those things that may not get props on a regular basis or that only happen on occasion.

1. Caffeine: What can I say about caffeine that most people don't already know. It is the life's blood of all that is good and decent. I am consistently thankful for the substance that daily, jolts me into production. Whatever form you prefer to have it delivered into your blood stream is good. I like the coffee, followed closely by the Diet Mt. Dew. I would probably take it intravenously, however I am a needle phobe and well, we all know that isn't a realistic delivery system albeit extremely effective I am certain.

2. High Definition Television: What did I ever do before I obtained my 50 inch plasma screen high definition television? One of God's greatest gifts to man is the gift of life, but what kind of life would it be without the crispy clear picture of a high definition telee? I honestly can't watch a program in regular definition any more. I hate it, it's like I am blind. I thank God for my Television and the accompanying programming. It is truly one of my favorite things.

3. The 49ers finally fired Mike Nolan: It's no big secret that I am a humongo 49er faithful. Ever since my child hood growing up in Northern California I was a die hard fan. I suffered through a lot of bad years to get to the glory days of the 80's and early 90's of being a Niner's fan. In recent times this once proud franchise has plummeted in to relative, well, irrelevance. The coach for the last 4 years had been Mike Nolan whose father was once the coach. He came with high hopes along with history and expectations. But the team consistently stunk it up under the Nolan regime. I couldn't stand listening to this man speak. He made no sense to me when he talked. He drove the team into the ground and I have been saying for awhile now that he needed to go. Actually the ownership needs to go as well, but I have high hopes for Jed York who is taking a more hands on approach to the team. Back when Eddie Debartalo owned the team he had the ship going in the right direction until his indiscretions and he had to leave my beloved Niners to his sister and her lame ass husband. Eddie says that Jed has the right stuff and I sure hope he is right. Meanwhile I am thankful I don't have to listen to that blathering idiot Mike Nolan. Now I get to hear about Samurai Mike Singletary dropping his pantaloons in the locker room at half time to demonstrate the ass whoopin' that they were taking at the hands of an equally bad Seattle team. Thank you 8lb 6oz baby Jesus for getting rid of a lame duck coach and bringing us one of the greatest linebackers to play the game.

4. The Utes are 10 and 0: We have two more games to go, to repeat the accomplishments of the 2004 Ute team that won the Fiesta Bowl. I am mostly thankful that BYU lost to TCU, opening the door for Utah to jump ahead in the BCS standings and have a chance to repeat their historical year in 2004. If they don't stumble this week at San Diego it sets up a huge game at Rice-Eccles Stadium on November 22nd. The last few years BYU has been able to eek out a last minute win against the U, but this year will be different. Go Utes!

5. Rib Eye Steaks: Seasoned to perfection and grilled to medium rare. I love to grill and who can resist a beautifully marbled piece of rib eye steak? It has to be one of the most delicious of God's wondrous blessings to mankind. I know some may say the Fillet, but as for me and my house I will serve the Rib Eye.

6. Bush only has 68 days left as President: Is there anyone left out there that thinks Bush has done right by our great nation? I know there has to be, after all his approval rating is in the teens! Forgive me for bringing politics into my blog, but I am indeed grateful that America has grown weary of business as usual. I don't know that Obama will be the great white, I mean black, hope that people believe him to be, but I certainly don't think he can do worse. I will however, miss playing the "do a shot of tequila" every time Bush says "nucular" game, during his speeches! My liver however will be thankful that he is leaving.

7. Breakfast Cereal: Anyone who has kids can appreciate and give thanks for the idea that you don't have to wake up every morning and make breakfast like in the olden days. Drop a box of Count Chocula on the table in the morning, along with a bowl and a spoon, and voila! Happy kids, happy parents.

8. The Dick in a Box video: If you haven't seen this masterpiece then you have been sorely deprived of one of the truly magnificent creations to ever grace the airwaves. Saturday Night Live has given us many, many great memories over the years, but in my opinion none as wonderful as this video. For those of you who are offended by the title of the song, well perhaps you should not partake, but I highly recommend that you watch it here

9. The Dollar Menu at McDonalds: You gotta love it, oh wait that is Hot Rod Hundly. I'm lovin' it is Mickey Dees. Being a poor social worker as I am, one must continuously be on the look out for ways to conserve coinage. Also being a fat man I have to get the most bang for my buck. One must agree that the golden arches has a way of hitting the spot, and for just a measly buckarooni you can get a satisfyingly delicious samich. Many is the time that I have made the trek to acquire me some good ol' dollar menu selections and come away satisfied that I got filled and didn't have to spend a lot of money. Now granted, my blood delivery system may not be quite as thankful for these greasy delights, but I sure am.

10. Rock Band: Now I don't know about you, but me, I will never get to fulfill my dream of becoming an actual rock star. But now, thanks to Harmonix and MTV, over the hill dreamers like myself can have the next best thing. Drop your air guitars and drums fellas and get yourself the Rock Band. It is so kick ass. I loves me some Rock Band, this game is a hoot. Don't give me the Guitar Hero argument, this is so much better. So much so in fact that Guitar Hero created their own version called World Tour. I have yet to play it, and I am sure it is a very nice platform, but either way, I must give thanks to them all for letting an old man live out his dream of rockin' out.

So there you have it, a non-comprehensive, yet adequate list of things that I am thankful for at this current point in time. Again, feel free to add to this as you see fit.


Boyd said...

I am thankful for power tools, particularly the drill.

They just save you so much effing work.

Rich said...

I slept with my drill for the first year after I bought it.