Tuesday, June 17, 2008

The Human Belly Button, Natures Lint Trap

Many years ago when I was a young child, my parents received a gag gift from someone that was very intriguing to my young mind. It was a small plastic box with a clear hinged lid and gold lettering that said Belly Button Lint Kit. Within the box was a small brush and a small packet of seeds. There may have been one or two other inconsequential items in the kit, but what they may be I do not recall. I do remember asking my parents why they had this kit and they proceeded to tell me that it was a joke.
As a young child I failed to see the humor in this gift, but I proceeded to ask my parents how it worked. They told me that you had to plant the "lint seed" in your belly button and then wait for it to grow into a lint ball. The small brush was to harvest the fully mature lint plant. "Does it really work?" I asked them. "No sweetie it's just something that adults have to deal with and that is why it is funny to us." I shook my head, looked at the shallow indentation in my stomach, wondered how could a plant exist in such a small hole, then wandered off to play with my Evil Kanevil racing bike. Do you remember those toys? Man they were cool. Yet again I digress.
I never did plant a lint seed in my belly button to see what all the fuss was about, but here I am decades later and this anecdote came to mind as I was sitting in my recliner last night pondering what I would blog about today. As I often do at the end of a long day I go home, get changed into some comfortable clothes, pour a glass of red wine, and sit in my recliner to partake of television programming that will take my mind off the day's events. For dinner I had a particularly nasty meal of Del Taco, god what was I thinking when I got that for supper? I had gorged myself and was rubbing my rather substantial torso, proud of the accomplishment of downing not only a Macho Burrito, but also a Macho Taco. To top it off I had a nice piece of strawberry short cake. As I was rubbing my Buddha belly for good luck, praying that the misgiving of over indulging myself; god what was I thinking, Del Taco, really? My finger crossed over my belly button. I found myself exploring the now cavernous indentation of my abdomen, and to my surprise I found a full grown lint plant. There was my blog, belly button lint. So it's not the most eloquent and political topic that one could choose to blog about, but it absolutely fits with my personality. Think about it. Belly Button Lint. What the hell? Where does it really come from? How did this fully grown lint plant come to exist in my button? I didn't plant any seeds. Did it spontaneously appear out of the microcosm that surely exists within such a place? Now my mind has wandered to realms that perhaps are better left un-disclosed for this dialogue. But here's a thought that I will share. What if I were to collect all the fully grown lint plants that I am able to harvest for an undetermined amount of time. After all the fruit of a fully grown lint plant is minuscule and doesn't yield a usable harvest. However a collection of lint fruit could eventually have global implications. Could one utilize this resource to say perhaps create a nice pair of knit socks? A cardigan? An afghan comforter? I think the possibilities are endless and in a day and age that gasoline is over $4.00 a gallon, the savings of creating usable items from an item in which the investment is naught? Well I think the fiscal implications for a person could be substantially positive.

1 comment:

Boyd M. Madsen said...

I've often claimed that I was going to make a statue out of my belly button lint,perhaps of Jim Bridger or one of the other trappers of old.