Once again the literary giant People magazine has published one of it's "who's hot" lists and I am not on it. They announced today their Hottest Bachelors for 2008. Topping the list, Mario Lopez with a wonderful pose paying tribute to Marky Mark in his Calvin Klein's. He looks absolutely scrumptious and I can certainly see why he is at the head of the class, wait it was Saved By The Bell wasn't it. Never mind.
People Magazine always does this to me. They put out these lists of people that are "hot", "sexy", "beautiful" etc. and invariably I am never on them. I don't mean to be braggadocious, to borrow a term from my boy B-Dog, that he dropped on me yesterday, but I am a damn good looking fellow if I do say so myself. Hell ask my wife, she'll tell ya. Sure she has a slightly biased opinion, but I am certain there are others who can confirm this for me.
Who are the "people" that are responsible for compiling these lists and why aren't they looking for me? I'm just sitting here at my desk every day, it's not like I am hard to find People! So yeah I get it, I just gave them a reason to not come looking for me this time, I'm married and therefore not a "sexy bachelor". Sure I'll give them that one, but how valid can their lists really be if they aren't scanning the globe, scouring every nook and cranny, ever searching... for me?
You know People, it really hurts. I deserve to be on that list, not that list, but one of them. Throw me a friggin bone here. I'll be the guy sitting behind his computer, day after day, doing my part to make the world a better place with not only my mad skills in social work, but with my beauty. You owe it to the world, make it right, put me on your lists.
5 years ago