The Demise of Radio

I realize that I am getting older. Everyday I do or say something that is a cold, hard slap of reality in the face. Don't get me wrong, I don't think I am old just yet. But when I can't move because my back is Eff'd up or I look at the resplendent waves of whiskers in my goatee, I can see father time taking his toll on me.

But today I became overly contemplative about my senectitude (SAT word of the day) due to a simple a thing as listening to the radio. You might go straight to the NPR card, but no, not so. This day I turned on the radio as I drove in to work and I hear a tasty gem from the 70's era by The Commodores. The funktastic, Brick House. The very first concert I ever went to was The Commodores, I am not ashamed, I loved it. This is still one of my top 5 concerts ever.

This, however is not the reason I am pondering my agedness.

So I am bustin' a funk groove in my car, (it's dark outside so no one can really see just how white and foolish I am, as I bounce and funk it up) and the damn, idiotic morning "disc jockeys" and I use this term loosely, begin talking over the song.

I have two pet peeves, ok I have more, but as they pertain to the radio I have two.

A) I absolutely HATE it when a radio station cuts the end of a song off. This drives me insane.

B) Don't EVER, EVER, EVER talk over the song.

.

Both of these things are just like nails on a chalk board to me. Ok deep breaths Rich.

I decided a few years ago, that I have grown to despise morning radio. I feel that they contribute absolutely nothing to society nor do I find them amusing at all. These morons this morning were making feeble attempts at humor (talking over the music) about this song and failing miserably. I just don't get it anymore. I used to, but I no longer have the patience for such idiocy. Hence my oldness. I feel like the old man on his porch, shaking his fist and yelling at the kids to "get off my lawn!"

Back in the day I lived to listen to Jon and Dan in the morning on 103.5. I thought those guys were the best and would go out of my way to listen religiously. Once they broke up and went away, I moved on to Jimmy Chunga and the various partners he had. I particularly enjoyed he and Mister West. Hell I even won an all expense paid trip to Greece from them, so I had reason to like them. The other program I enjoyed and in a pinch I still tune in, is the Radio from Hell on X96. However, by and large I have just grown weary of all the yammerin' and stupidity that is propagated by these people.

To make matters worse a lot of stations have afternoon drive time "disc jockeys" (still using the term loosely) and they do and say the same damn shit. Maybe it's just me, but what ever happened to listening to the radio to, oh I don't know, LISTEN TO THE MUSIC? (Doobie Brothers) I just hate them so much! Radio DJ's, not the Doobies.

"But Rich" you say, "why don't you just listen to your Ipod?" Good question my friend. Now don't freak out when I tell you this, but I don't own an Ipod. Ok that is a small lie. I own one but it is broken and it's a old piece of dung. (much like the steaming pile of feces that these alleged radio DJ's produce, wrap it in tin foil, attach fish hooks and call them ear rings.) The thing just gave up the ghost about a year ago. Being a poor social worker, I haven't the monetary wherewith all to replace it with the one I really want, the 80 gig video Ipod. I am like the only one that doesn't have one. That plus I would need to purchase a fancy shmancy transmitter thingy mabobby to make it work with the radio so I could listen in the car.

Sure I could listen to CD's and I often do. I know right? You kids thought CD was a dead technology. Gone the way of the LP and cassette tapes.

So pity me people, feel my pain. I don't have an Ipod and I hate morning radio. I don't know how I manage to make it into work every morning under such extremely torturous circumstances either.

If you really cared about me you would get me a black 80 gig Ipod, thats all I'm saying.