Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Hibernation



I think I was meant to be a bear. I say this because the summer has now begun to wind down and I am feeling blase' about everything. I have decided to identify this as an intense need to hibernate. I came to this conclusion today as I realized how much I am really dreading the winter months. The bears have it right. Gorge yourself on salmon and then sleep it off until it warms up. I do enjoy a nice piece of fish and equally as much I adore a good nap. I think there is not a whole lot that beats having a full belly and then sleeping.

Yeah that sounds pretty much like what I need to be doing. I don't like being cold, I hate that it is getting darker earlier and it's dark in the morning when I wake up. I just need to sleep it off like a bad night of partying. It all makes sense to me now. God must have intended for me to be a bear.
The only problem I see with this whole thing is my constant need to urinate. Thanks to my overactive bladder this creates some logistical problems with my design. That, plus the fact that when I wake up I am always hungry. I think I have the grumpy thing down pretty good though. Nobody wants to mess with a bear when he is hibernating and they pretty much don't want to mess with me neither. I am a grumpy bear when I am tired.

So if you don't see me or hear from me for a few months you can pretty much guess that I will be hibernating for the winter. See you when it gets warm!

1 comment:

Boyd said...

I don't think the peeing thing should much matter. I mean, you're asleep, who cares if you get some pee all over? (you might get sores though. Maybe I should rethink that.)

You are definitely a bear. What was God thinking when he made you a man? Come on, God!